Many people avoid confrontation. Some fear being disliked and rejected. Others are afraid confrontation will make things worse by creating anger and resentment in the person they confront. But avoiding confrontation always worsens the situation. Confrontation can be a win–win situation, a chance to help and develop your people—if you do it with respect and with the other person’s best interests at heart. Here are ten guidelines when you care enough to confront positively:

1. Confront ASAP.

2. Address the wrong action, not the person.

3. Confront only what the person can change.

4. Give the person the benefit of the doubt.

5. Be specific.

6. Avoid sarcasm.

7. Avoid words like “always” and “never.”

8. If appropriate, tell the person how you feel about what was done wrong.

9. Give the person a game plan to fix the problem.

10. Affirm him or her as a person and a friend.

Is confrontation difficult for you?

Positive confrontation is a sure sign that you care for a person and have their best interests at heart. Each time you build up your people and identify their problems, you give them an opportunity to grow.

Excerpt from Developing the Leaders Around You

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