“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright, and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.”
–Brene Brown
My husband’s Aunt Dorothy passed away a couple of weeks ago at 85. He was privileged to officiate at her “Celebration of Life” service. On the four hour drive over to her hometown, we had a great conversation about her. Dorothy had the ability to unconditionally love everyone who came into her life. When you left her presence you were always better for spending time with her. She was a great encourager.
She had one trait that held her back. As Dennis and I discussed this trait, he said that the family felt it was a trait that the whole family struggled with. Although Dorothy was a great giver of love and encouragement, she didn’t feel she could receive it back.
I believe unworthiness is a feeling that many of us war with at times. Unworthiness can prevent us from taking risks by becoming somewhat of a safety net. If I don’t take the risk, I’ll be safe from the pain of possible failure or hurt. If we don’t feel worthy of success, why should we bother even trying? Past perceived failures or incorrect beliefs about ourselves may leave us feeling undeserved of love, joy and/or the best life that we can create for ourselves.
In Brene Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection,” she lists many of the worthiness beliefs that we may hold onto. Here are just a few:
*I’ll be worthy when I lose 10 pounds.
*I’ll be worthy when my parents approve of me.
*I’ll be worthy when I make more money.
*I’ll be worthy when I have a new house, a new car.
*I’ll be worthy when I get a degree.
*I’ll be worthy when I don’t make so many mistakes.
I know that I have a couple, not on that list, that rear their ugly heads at times. But I have become aware of those beliefs that hold me back and I am determined to crush them. Here’s what I remind myself when that voice of unworthiness starts trash-talking:
Psalm 139 tells us that God, the God Who created the universe, knew us before we were even formed in the womb. Not only that, but He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. All the day ordained for us are written in His book before one of them came to be. He has specific plans for us to prosper us and to give us hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) He says that all of His works are wonderful!! The God of the universe knows our names and knew s before the foundation of the universe. (If you want all the corresponding Bible verses, email me.)
If you don’t believe in God, think about this. One cell from your mom and one cell from your dad meet, merging 1/2 of her DNA and 1/2 of his DNA. Those chromosomes match and they form a brand new DNA code at that moment with your name on it. This 3 million character code paints a picture of you that has never been written before in the history of humankind. At twelve weeks, inside your mom’s womb, you already had fingerprints. There isn’t anyone on the face of the earth with your fingerprints. Those fingerprints are uniquely yours. No one else has them. Period.
Our whole staff at work took the Strengthsfinder test to determine the top five of our thirty-four strengths. Only three percent of the earth’s population have a person’s unique strengths listed in their same order. AND if we add our personality type to that, only one percent are like each one of us.
WOW!!! We are one of a kind. There is a specific purpose in life for each one of us. It doesn’t matter what anyone has said about or done to us, there is a purpose for us, a potential for us, that nobody else can achieve.
Challenge your beliefs about yourself. You know some of those thoughts are not true. Negative thoughts from your past do not deserve your energy. Believe the truth–you are amazing. Have the courage to step out into fulfilling your own unique potential. Go ahead, create your best life. You are so worth it.
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