“The most powerful leadership tool that you have is your own personal example.”
― John Wooden
I wrote a devotional on a Bible chapter, Titus 2. Paul instructed Titus on essential guidelines to teach to leave a legacy for future generations. Paul wrote a list of character traits for the older generation to model to the younger generation. Some of those traits listed were; discipline, kindness, be worthy of respect, hard-working and caring.
This Bible teaching reminded me of John Maxwell’s Law of the Picture. The summary statement for that Law is that people do what people see.
Studies show that the brain learns what is modeled, rather than what we tell it. The behaviors that your children see day after day is what they assimilate…they just soak it up. It’s like learning a language. If you put a child in a Spanish speaking home, they pick up Spanish as their language. Take that same child and raise him in a German speaking home, what language do they learn? Of course, German.
Some studies about welfare recipients have also shown that more than 30% of them are second generation receivers. Why? Because that is what has been modeled for them.
In my own life, three out of four siblings in my family became alcohol dependent. I personally believe the reason behind that is because we were modeled that behavior. What proves that to me is that my older sister is the one who is “normal.” (Which is a relative term in our family. My brother likes to say that our family puts the “fun” in dysfunctional😊.) My father’s drinking didn’t turn habitual until after my sister left for college. Being 10 years older than the rest of us, my sister didn’t experience his alcoholism like the rest of us did.
As leaders, what characteristics do we desire in those that follow us? I know I want my staff to be honest, hard-working, compassionate, solution-oriented, prompt, and I want them to serve one another. I also want them to gently address and to be caring during conflict resolution. I don’t want those who supervisor to lord their positions over their followers, but I desire them to lead with a servant’s heart. I want all of my staff to pursue excellence when working.
The first question I have to ask myself after writing that list is; “Do I have those same characteristics?” If not, I need to get busy growing and changing to be able to exemplify those same character traits. Without those, would someone even want to follow me?
It would be great if leadership functioned by this axiom “do as I say…not as I do,” but that’s not the way it is. I can talk the walk until the cows come home, but I need to walk the talk before I can expect the results and behaviors that I prefer in those that follow me. It’s always easier to teach what’s right than to do what’s right. Followers are always watching the leader, just like children are always watching their parents.
To be a successful leader, the first person that I need to lead is me.
Still working on the walk.
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