Connecting is Everything

I have been working on my Maxwell Speakers Club launch these last weeks.  I’ve had many “aha” moments, especially regarding connecting, and there are a couple more that will benefit you.First, I can give a speech that is awesome;  inundated with facts that people need to know and learn. Wow, that can make me look really good and really smart.  After all, isn’t that the reason that I’m speaking in the first place?  But, my audience will be asleep if I am not connecting with them first. I have to find some kind of common ground when connecting.

At the last Fall Fundraiser, I had so many great statistics to share with those in attendance. When I connected those stats into the form of a  success story of one of our patients,  the glazed-over eyes grew wide with anticipation and joy.  Her success was common ground and directly connected to the attendees financial commitments to Life Options.

Second, when we speak, we will have an  impact. When I was three months clean and sober, the leadership of the AA meeting that I was attending asked me to lead the meeting for a couple of months. I thought to myself,  “What? Me? I still have brain fuzz from my years of substance abuse. You don’t know hardly anything about me and if you did, you would probably kick me out of this meeting, let alone let me lead.”  They argued that I was excited to be sober and the group could use my excitement. That was true.

I can’t exactly remember much about those months,  but I remember reading, “A New Pair of Glasses,”  by Chuck C.  There was a paragraph in that book that said that we were  chosen by God before the foundation of the universe.  I couldn’t believe it! But it must be true because Chuck C. had been sober for years. He wouldn’t lie. I had been chosen. Me. A drunk. And I had a purpose. This was a life-changing thought for me!

I marched into the next  meeting, so excited to share that concept with them, because I could tell by their attitudes that they didn’t know they had been chosen either. (Most of them had many years of sobriety and I was telling them something they didn’t know? I’m smiling at my naivety.) They had to understand that if I was chosen and Chuck C. was chosen, they were, too.

With all the excitement that was in my  heart, I stood up and shared  that they, too, were chosen for a purpose.  Their reaction? Crickets–not one word, no excitement no connection. Nobody said, “Wow, that’s amazing!” There was complete silence. I was blown away by their response.  I blew it. I didn’t communicate my message well enough.Their reaction  might have crushed me, but I felt in my heart  I had a purpose.  And it wasn’t  leading that meeting, that’s for sure.  Yes, I quit leading soon after their response. I didn’t realize with more practice, I could become a better speaker and leader.

A month after that disheartening meeting, a young lady received her thirty day chip.  After we celebrated her accomplishment, she came up to me and told me, “I’ve tried to get 30 days for years. When you shared that we were chosen before the foundation of the universe, it was a game-changer for me.  I know I have a purpose and one day at a time, I’m going to stay sober enough  to figure out what it is.”  I connected with her and THAT had a very positive impact on both of us.

Thirdly, my speaking coach says the story has to be short, but pack a powerful point. Okay, so I flunked the short part. I’m still learning, too.