Are Your Thoughts Creating Your Anxiety?

“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

—Shakespeare

I’ve been reading very slowly for the second time through a book by Wayne Dyer, “The Power Of Intention.” I’ve been writing about peace and leadership and how that is supposed to look, so I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I “stumbled” on this chapter about living a stress-free life. AND it’s not a coincidence that this email follows last week’s email on head trash and competing commitments.

Wayne Dyer says that we were created to live fully alive and on purpose in a state of peace and joy. I happen to agree with him. Many of you know that I believe in God and He isn’t anything like I used to believe. Until I got to know Him, I thought he was this big guy who lived in heaven and really needed some anger management classes. He is nothing like that at all. If you don’t believe in God, just ignore this part, but He sent Jesus so that we could live life abundantly.  We can have abundant joy, peace, blessings and happiness.

God is love, so everything that He does with us stems out of His love for us. He wants us to love Him back out of our own volition. We are not robots, He has given us choice.  He has given us the power to choose our thoughts.  That is why I thought this chapter was so powerful.  Whether you believe in God or not, you have the power to choose your thoughts.

Back to Wayne Dyer’s book.  In this chapter, he writes, “There’s no actual stress or anxiety in the world, it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.” Read that sentence again and ponder it.

You may be wondering about all the bad that is transpiring in the world, like murder, rape, abuse and the like.  What about that?  I don’t want to negate the awfulness of some things that have happened or can happen to us. BUT, let’s talk about our everyday normal life.

Think about the things that make you anxious. Stop and think about them.

I’ll give you a personal example. Up until recently, when I had a workshop or speaking engagement in my calendar, I couldn’t sleep well for a couple nights prior.  It didn’t matter how much I prepared or how well I thought the presentation was written, sleep eluded me. What the heck? What was this all about?  This is my life–I don’t want to be a sleepless zombie.

I reflected on it and came to the insight that it was about ego. I wanted to look good. I was afraid of failing. What if I do something stupid?  What if they don’t have fun? What if they don’t think the time spent with me was  worth it? What if…what if…okay, what if? If I have done my best, I have no control over their response. Although, I really like to think I do:)  If I do something stupid, I can laugh with them. It won’t be the first time. I found that it was all about me. And THAT is hilarious, because I am not presenting for me, I am there to serve them and to add value to THEIR life. Geesh.

Our natural state is tranquility and peace, but when we try to control those things that we have no control over, or think stressful thoughts, that’s what causes the anxiety.  The cure? Consider Rule #6.

“Two prime ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting and stamping and banging his fist on the desk. The resident prime minister admonishes him: “Peter,” he says, “kindly remember Rule Number 6,” whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes, and withdraws. The politicians return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by a hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying. Again the intruder is greeted with the words: “Marie, please remember Rule Number 6.” Complete calm descends once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology. When the scene is repeated for the third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: “My dear friend, I’ve seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of Rule Number 6?” “Very simple,” replies the resident prime minister. “Rule Number 6 is ‘Don’t take yourself so g—damn seriously.” “Ah,” says his visitor, “that is a fine rule.” After a moment of pondering, he inquires, “And what, may I ask, are the other rules?”
“There aren’t any.”  (This is from a book called “The Art of Possibility, ” by The Zanders)

When you feel anxious or stressed this week, consider your thoughts.  How are you thinking about the issue that is stressing you?  Is it in your control?  Is there a different way you can look at it?

Jan